Exactly a week ago, it was Thanksgiving Day or Chuseok in Korea. This is the day when Koreans return to their hometown and pay respect to their ancestors.
Waffles and Americano for breakfast before the long drive
This is also the time of the year when we experience our worst nightmare on the roads – terrible traffic congestion with everyone scrambling to travel back home. Driving back to my in-law’s place would normally require four hours. However, on the eve of Thanksgiving, even though we departed at 7 am, it took us seven hours to arrive at Yangju, my in-law’s place. Traffic was smooth initially and it took us three hours to cover half of the journey. Just before we entered Seoul, there was a major collision accident. We were stuck in a jam and our car was barely moving while 4 or 5 ambulance and towing vehicles sped past us at the emergency lane.
We were famished after the long drive. Most of the restaurants are closed on the eve and thankfully, my mother-in-law prepared a late lunch for us. The long drive drained us and long hours of sitting gave us numbness in the butt and soreness in our back and neck. We had a restful night before waking up at 7 am on Chuseok.
This is typically the exact scene you see in Korean dramas. My mother-in-law cooked up a storm in the kitchen while I helped prepared the simple dishes and hubby helped with the table setting for the memorial service. There were more than 20 dishes to prepare and there is a certain way to arrange the items on the table. Hubby told me he could never remember the order of the dishes even though he has helped out over the years. It took us about two hours to prepare everything including the prayers. It is my second time taking part in this memorial service and there are a few things I found interesting:
- The top part of the fruits for offering such as apples or pears must be sliced off. According to this website, it mentioned that the ancestors do not eat but rather they absorb or take in the energy from the offerings. Cutting away the top part probably makes it easier for them to suck out the energy…. This is just my guess.
- The placement of each bowl of soup should be on the left of each bowl of rice. This arrangement is strictly for ancestors and that is why if you have dined in Korea before, the placement of the soup is always on the right of your rice bowl – arrangement for the living.
- Sapsi, the insertion of spoon into the middle of the rice bowl for the ancestors. Similarly, this etiquette is forbidden for the living. This practice is quite similar to Chinese. Growing up, my parents always told me not to stick my chopsticks upright in the bowl as it is akin to burning incense for the dead.
The second one reminds me of an incident last year. I am used to placing the soup bowl on the left of my rice bowl. As I always hold the spoon with my left hand, it is easier to scoop the soup and take vegetables or meat with my chopsticks which I hold with my right hand. This has been a habit since young. However, there was once I shifted the Kimchi stew to the left of my rice bowl at a restaurant and the ahjumoni (aunty) who served me looked bewildered. She probably thought I was weird…… I have also made several mistakes of this placement for hubby’s breakfast and there were times when he looked annoyed. I have since got the placement right after a year of preparing meals!
I honestly take my hat off to my mother-in-law. I wondered how she managed to prepare and wash so many dishes by herself all these years during thanksgiving and new year. The elaborate preparation is really back-breaking and it must be extremely tiring for her since age is catching up with her. Just glad I was of some help…….
After the ceremony, we cleared the table and heat up the food for the memorial service for our breakfast. After which, we drove for an hour to my grandmother-in-law’s house.
My grandmother-in-law is really a generous and kind old lady and I respect her very much. Each time when I visit her, she would shower us with lots of food and gifts. This time round, on top of a carton of eggs , packets of seaweed and a few bars of chocolates, she surprised me by slipping a bow ring through my fourth finger on my right hand.
What a precious gift and I really feel blessed to have such heart-warming in-laws as my family. Both hubby and I were quite worried about the eggs but fortunately they survived the drive back with only one casualty. Haha!
On our drive back to Gwangju, we stopped by our previous house at Ilsan to collect letters. A walk around the estate reminded us of the good times we spent at Ilsan – The park which we strolled at every evening after dinner, the yoga studio which I made many friends, the cheap sandwich café called Dorothy which we packed on weekends and a walnut cookie café which opens based on the owner’s mood 😊
A photo I took last autumn at Ilsan
We took lunch at our favourite Tonkatsu joint before driving back home.
Driving back took us five hours, which was bearable. Hopefully hubby has time to make a trip down to the driving centre with me next week so I can take my driving test soon. The next time we visit our in-laws, I hope I am the one steering part of the journey!
P.S. As much as I want to show the elaborate display of food offerings, I didn’t take any photos of the ceremony out of respect.
Life of Daffydil 